Mission: Get That Licence!

Tuesday 5th September.

So today is the day that it begins. Day one of getting my driving licence. Over the next week, I will be having three hours of lessons over five days. On the fifth day, I will have my driving test.

To help myself get ready. But also, I was in a mood. I created my version of the Show Me, Tell Me Questions:

It’s not perfect. But I think it will do the job. Feel free to copy if it will help your journey to a licence. This is for a 2018 Ford Fiesta.

I am continuing my lessons with Top Gun School of Motoring. I like my instructor. She is extremely patient. But not afraid to tell you when you go wrong.

I am wearing my new driving shoes. It really does make a difference. But I don’t like them.

Today, I think it was a good start. I am slowly getting to grips with the car. But I am making progress.

Next Day: 6th September.

Didn’t sleep well last night. It was a tad too warm. But I have a job to do. And I am going to do it. Hopefully, the fresh air will do me some good.

Today, I caught up and tried to understand more of what I needed to know. Putting into practice what I had learned from the day before. What also helped me a little was finding out about the examiner’s form. And how they mark you up.

This should help those on test day who get a little nervous or experience a little paranoia: When you see the examiner, fill in the form. And you start worrying about what is being put down. You might want to know that the symbol marked in red is a box for the examiner to tick off to say you have accomplished this task. So remember, it might not be all that bad.

I am still having a few problems that need to be corrected. For example, I haven’t mastered clutch control. I have to make sure. I look in the right direction when I indicate. And making sure I mirror before I signal.

Day 3: 7th September

To be honest. I have had enough of it all. I slept, but I am not great. Having a case of the: I don’t wanna. I know it’s only been two days. A three-hour lesson may be too long. I should have stuck with two hours.

It’s not a case of I can’t do it. I know I can. I am getting a bit overwhelmed with it all. And I don’t know if my head can take it much longer. But I will continue I have to.

By the time I have to go out, I am more or less back to normal. And…

…I enjoyed today more than I would have thought. I’ve improved a lot. I am getting closer to being 100% ready. All in all, I’m guessing about 80-90% prepared. We practised going around roundabouts. Learned about little tricks; the examiner tests the examinee on. I was perfect at the emergency stop and more or less mastered parallel parking, reversing and driving forward into a parking spot.

But I get a day off tomorrow as my instructor is going somewhere. So some rest for my head and body is very much needed. But back to it on the…

…9th September: Day 4

Today has been a long day.

My instructor wanted to change the timing of the lesson for the next day. She didn’t give a reason. But I said no. I wanted to have the driving lesson over as quickly as possible so I could relax for the rest of the day.

The wife left for work. When she arrived at the bus stop, she had an anxiety attack. So, I had to go and get her and slowly walk her home. I then received another text from my instructor, asking again to change my lesson time to a later time, in the late afternoon. She needed to help her husband with something. I then said yes, this time. I needed the time to settle the wife.

Still Learning

Late afternoon. Just after four. My lesson started. My instructor was curious as to what was wrong with me. I, of course, said I was fine and then asked why. She said I was more relaxed. I was driving like I had been driving for years. That was technically true. I had been riding a different type of vehicle. Although this sounds good, this could screw me in the long run. I have to be a little more cautious and even more conscious about how I drive so I do not become lazy when the test happens.

She did ask if I had been watching more videos. I said I had.

Because of this, I am still making little, tiny mistakes that I should not be making. I must also learn to relax because as soon as I make a mistake, this can lead to another.

I have all of this to consider as my test day draws near.

We finished a little earlier after working with the sat nav and running over some things I would do during my test. We were both tired. It had been a long day.

Tomorrow is another rest day before the big event.

11th September

Today is test day. But I have to run a quick errand. Tiffany isn’t well. I have to take her in for a check-up.

It turns out that the previous “mechanic” didn’t clean the brakes, which would explain the squeaking from my back wheel. There was also an engine light on the dashboard. That turned out to be an exhaust oxygen sensor problem. To replace that would cost £176 and pence. Alternatively, £14.99 from Ebay.

After dealing with Tiff, I headed back home.

I bought the part and finished uploading my weekly video.

My instructor arrived, and we headed out. After going over some practice runs of various manoeuvres. We headed to the test centre after popping into Tescos for some provisions.

I began the test after meeting the examiner. Yeah! I shouldn’t have done the test.

I Failed. But I Don’t Care!

As I started by following the instructions. My head started to go. I was stuck. I knew it was coming. But please, not now: For nearly the whole of the test. I had a full-on panic attack. Hyperventilating. Tears streaming down my face. My head felt like I was being crushed. At one point, I had a hat made of rakes, scrapping my brain and then some growling, fist clenching, and other things I probably did.

But I didn’t stop. And you know what? I am so fucking proud of myself. I have proven to myself I can pass this test. And I can maintain control under extreme pressure.

But I did Fail. This was a simple problem from when the attack started; I was in the middle of a hill climb. I couldn’t get the bite of the clutch. But I did everything else flawlessly. Again, I am so very proud of myself.

Under all that pressure. My head and body wanted everything to stop, and I just wanted to run away.

I even did an emergency stop without realising that was what I had done. I was more concerned with the stupid driver.

As soon as I parked up back at the test centre. Not waiting for the results. I didn’t care. I rushed out of the car. Needing to lean against something. The closest thing was the fence. I remained frozen there while I let the panic attack take complete control.

Going Home

After a while, my instructor came to comfort me. She told me I had one serious mark. That did make me fall to one knee.

The final result was one serious and four minors.

After a short while, I walked back into the car. My instructor was kind, continued to praise me, and tried to slate the examiner, which I appreciated. But that wasn’t necessary. He had a job to do. And I did screw up one of the tasks of the test. Even if. I was in the middle of something.

At Home

My instructor dropped me off. I grabbed my belongings. Not before she told me about some people who might be able to get my test a little earlier. Otherwise, I will have to wait and see on the booking site.

My wife knew I had an attack when I walked in with my sweets. Then I told her what happened. She was just happy I was okay.

My job now is to rest and prepare for tomorrow. The day I go back to work.