So What’s Been Happening Recently?#4

February 2018
On the 1st of February I received a call from the hospital telling me they had a cancellation for a surgery and was wondering if I would take the spot. I wasn’t sure if I could, due to work. So I ask them to call back in an hour so I can make a couple of calls to say yes or no. I first got in contact with my father in law. As I will need his services as an ambulance driver, being that I wouldn’t be able to ride my motorcycle or drive anything, to the hospital and home again. Plus it’s frowned upon by the hospital due the heavy medication I would be on. He said he would help. I then got in contact with work and they told me to go for it.
An hour had passed and the hospital called again and I told them that the surgery could go ahead. The secretary seemed shocked at first that I had said yes. Then proceeded with confirming the appointment. I had asked them to send me an email letter confirming the date so I would have something to give to my managers. I also emailed ahead to my manager saying what was happening.
Then reason for the surgery was that I have Piles. The technical term is Haemorrhoids. I have swollen blood vessels that never retracted back to normal. I never experience any pain but when going to the toilet, depending on the bowel movement I could have a small amount of blood, when I wiped or great a big flow of blood streaming out of my anus.
I previously had surgery for the same thing in July 2017. The procedure didn’t work. They had tied off the blood vessels, hoping that they would shrivel up and fall off. So because of this I was going under the knife again.
The day of the surgery, 5th Feb. I had worked the night before to make sure everything was in order, with the management and paperwork. So I hadn’t slept. My last meal was during my lunch break at 2.30 in the morning. I couldn’t eat anything after six. I packed a bag with my dressing gown, my Muppets Animal slippers and my glasses case and off to the hospital we went.
We checked in to Darent Valley hospital just before midday and we were shown to my room. It was about nearly four hours before I went into surgery. In that time I had the nurses come around checking my vitals, measuring me for some anti clotting socks, the anaesthetist and the surgeon. Also a lot of the time time was spent doing nothing. So Bored! The surgeon came in to discuss how the procedure was going to go. He told me of the different ways they could do the surgery. I decided on “old faithful”. This was the one they did in the past that always worked. By this point my wife had to step outside to get some air.
How this would work is that they would go into my anus and cut a chunk out of each of my piles, I had three. Then just bandage me up. Leaving it to sort itself out. No stitches, as this wouldn’t help. They needed the piles open to keep the blood flowing, not restricted. So it could heal properly. The doctor explained that everybody has Haemorrhoids. They swell up to help hold everything up the rectum. Then relax when you go to the toilet. It’s the blood that helps them swell. The problem with mine is they don’t relax.
Finally in my gorgeous gown and slippers I was walked to the pre-operative room and was placed on a bed. My glasses, dressing gown and slippers were taken from me. Then they kept asking the same questions: my name, what procedure am I having? and a couple more. After being left alone for a few more minutes I was wheeled into another room. Where they started sticking needles in me. They told me what was happening each step of the way. They switch a little lever and a vein in my right arm started going cold. They told me that were starting another feed and next thing I knew I was waking up after the surgery in another room.
A little tip when you wake up, you may feel a little claustrophobic with the mask on. It’s okay to take it off. But keep using the Oxygen. It will help with clearing the fog out of your head and help if you have a headache.

After I had a cup of tea and my items retrieved I was taken to a ward. This was when I was told I was going to be spending the night in the hospital. I wasn’t happy, I asked if could be discharged. They said I could but I wouldn’t be able to get the medication I needed. The reason I couldn’t get it then was the chemist was closed for the night. So I stayed. I had another cup of tea and a sandwich. I was starving and the reason I wanted to go home was so I could eat. I eventually got over the fact I was staying in hospital.

I decided to go for a wonder and a vape with the missus. My wife was worrying as usual and had to keep telling her I was okay. It never works.

Back in the ward I tried to get comfortable as the wife and father in law left. I read the comics on my phone for as long as I could and then got some sleep.

I woke up at about five in the morning and went for a wonder and a vape outside. It was a bit nippy, standing in the car park with my hospital garb on. But I didn’t care. I had to wait another two hours for the canteen to open so I could have some breakfast. I was still hungry. It eventually turned seven and I had a full English and a cup of tea, eight pounds. Bloody disgusting! The price was terrible, the food was okay.

It was a few hours later that I had enough of the bandages wedged up my arse. So I spoke to a nurse for a sanitary pad and went to the toilet. The amount of blood, was just wow! I had taken off the bandage and got my hands covered in blood. I had expected some blood but this was a lot. The main problem was I couldn’t wash properly. So I cleaned up as best as I could and text my wife to bring in the nappies that had helped me before.The ones I had been given weren’t working for me. I went through a couple more towels and even spotted on the bed. I spoke to the nurse and she got sheet pad for the bed.

A couple more hours, more pain killers and some the dinner, the doctor finally came around and gave me the all clear to go home. My wife turned up with my nappy and the father in law. I was then given my medication.

If this happens to you or something in the same area I do recommend Tena mens pants. They weren’t really designed for my condition but all I did was turn them around and they were brilliant.

So I finally got dressed, had my boxers and towel sent to be destroyed and went home. My father in law had an extra spongy cushion waiting for me in the van. It was nice and we went home.

The staff at the hospital were great. They were patient and helped when needed. The dinner weren’t bad either. I know there’s a bad stigma for hospital food, but it was okay. I will miss the great cups of tea. There was lots of it, like they overstocked and trying to get rid of the stuff.