And Yet Another Year…

This blog is four years old now and I am happy with the progress so far. But I could do more…

To be honest. At the moment I don’t know what I am doing with myself. I am physically and mentally tired. My recent holiday wasn’t really a holiday. We have managed to finally finish clearing out the father in laws home and even though we had to donate or throw out majority of his things. We were able to get enough money to pay for the funeral and cremation. We bought a new plaque for the plot where the ashes will be placed. He is going to be placed with his parents. So a new plaque was needed.

I am back at work and I am just drifting through. The wife hasn’t returned to work yet. She’s still going through the motions in the way she needs to do it. I have helped her a little, by helping her with anxiety and grief. I know she has had counselling but she hasn’t had music therapy. Well, she has… So have you. But she doesn’t realise it yet.

When growing up through my teens rock, metal, heavy metal, death metal and other genres of the type helped me deal with anger issues and pain. Well, the angst of being a teenager. A place to scream my anguish and release anything pent-up. This is what I was trying to do for the wife. But the tricky thing with this therapy is that you have to find the right type of music. I knew with anxiety, the problem is that everything is shrinking inside with no way to get out. All that tension and internal screaming with the physical aspect of muscle tension and heart pounding needs an equal and powerful enough wave length to touch the tension. I found that listening to Alice Coopers album, Brutal Planet. Even blaring out, could help me sleep.

I had tried with Slipknot as Disturbed was too poppy for the way she was feeling. Slipknot just wasn’t heavy enough. But this time round I delved into the darker side of metal, from my collection and succeeded with a gothic/ death metal band called Cradle of Filth.

Just to let you know this is not a cure. But if you continue with this method it can help in the long term. Like it did me. The best thing about music therapy is when you listen to a song that helps you relax. A song that makes you happy. By simply listening to it or singing at the top of your lungs. A song that rejuvenates you. Maybe helps you through a workout. So many sides to this. But it does work. It doesn’t matter what the music is, as long as it helps. Listening to Beethoven or Aqua. It doesn’t matter.

Anyway, Cradle of Filth. You have a new fan.

In general, I suppose, I am happy, in my own way. I am getting on with my life as best I can. But then I look at all the shit that is happening around the world and I am glad I don’t have to deal with it. That may sound selfish but it’s true. I don’t want to have to deal with any wars. I would, however, like to get rid of these politicians and restart everything from scratch. Help the people that actually need helping. Instead of helping the rich. But first I have to fix the problems in my own backyard before venturing out to the world.

I hope you all find your place. Wherever it’s meant to be and find some joy in life. Fix the little things first and then build up to the final boss.

This has been a weird blog for me to write as I don’t know what I want achieve from it. Being it’s an anniversary I know I had to say something but… What? It has taken me several days to finish this but I think I have done it. I do hope my blogs help in some sort of way. A simple smile or a realisation. Anything that helps you through the day. I would be happy.

From my first blog: Science I am still waiting.!